A Safe Place Online Logo

Is it Love, or Something Else?

What is it that I am feeling?

We hear quite often from young women who often express their love for a young man, but are unsure if he reciprocates their feelings. This can cause anxiety, fear, and doubt, and even painful feelings of rejection if the potential boyfriend does not respond immediately after they express their adoration. However, at a young age, the feeling is most likely not love, but rather infatuation or limerence

Infatuation is a state of being carried away by an unreasoned passion, usually towards another person for whom one has developed strong romantic feelings

Here are some key points about infatuation:

Definition: Infatuation is a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something

Symptoms: Infatuation is characterized by strong and unreasoning attachment, an all-consuming passion, and intrusive thoughts

It is often a short-lived, intense feeling that can be mistaken for love

Difference from love: Infatuation is often confused with love, but they are not the same thing

Infatuation is a shallower, more superficial feeling, while love is a deeper, more mature emotion

Infatuation is usually short-lived and can be based on physical attraction or idealization, while love is a long-lasting, unconditional feeling that involves a deep connection and commitment to another person

Infatuation can be a normal part of the early stages of a romantic relationship, but it can also be unhealthy and cause significant problems in someone's life if it becomes obsessive or one-sided


Limerence is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, characterized by an initial period of elation and intense emotional arousal that can progress to an involuntary, obsessive craving for another person

It is a state of mind that results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person, and typically includes intrusive, melancholic thoughts, or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection

Limerence is not exclusively sexual and has been defined in terms of its potentially inspirational effects and relation to attachment theory

Here are some key points about limerence:

Definition: Limerence is an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person (the limerent object)

Symptoms: Limerence is characterized by internal experiences such as ruminative thinking, anxiety and depression, temporary fixation, and the disintegration of the self

It involves intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation

Stages: Limerence has three stages: infatuation, crystallization, and deterioration

During the infatuation stage, the limerent person experiences intense emotional arousal and elation. In the crystallization stage, the limerent person begins to focus on the object of their affection and idealizes them. Finally, in the deterioration stage, reality sets in, and the limerent person experiences a dissonance between their thoughts and reality

Difference from love: Limerence is often confused with love, but they are not the same thing

Love is unconditional, while limerence is more of an infatuation or a "deep crush"

Limerence is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, deep obsession, and fantastical longing, while love is a deeper, more mature emotion

Limerence can be unhealthy and cause significant problems in someone's life, and researchers and psychologists are interested in finding ways to treat it

What is God's Love?

More than anything, the Bible makes it clear that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). He isn't just loving, but he is the very definition of love. He loves us because he created us. His affection is unconditional. He both generates and demonstrates love — and that love endures forever (Psalm 100:5).

God's love is gracious because it is unmerited, favorable, freely given, and undeserved. If you would be faithful to obey the words of Ephesians 5:1-2 and imitate God, then consider His love as you walk in love.

The Good News: Jesus sacrificed himself for us, which was the truest act of love.

If you would like your life to change in an instant, consider giving your life to Jesus Christ. Jesus died for you, me, and everyone who has ever been or will be on earth.

To learn more about this amazing God who gave His life so you may live, go to: https://www.asafeplaceonline.com/learn-more

“For if a man belongs to Christ, he is a new creation. The old life is gone. New life has begun.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

A Safe Place Online

aSafePlaceOnline provides help and hope. It's free, safe, and private.
Chat anytime, from anywhere, about anything.